Dear wife:
I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever.
I've been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it
These last 2 weeks have been hell.
Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the
last straw.
Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of
your soaps.
You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything
that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you
don't love me anymore; whatever! The case, I'm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West
Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.
It's true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is
a far cry from what you've been.
I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining &
griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that
came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me
not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99
price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that
my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out.
So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought
us 2 tickets to Jamaica but when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said
that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
So take care.
Signed,
Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl.
Credit: fwd mail from Mimi, my old friend
Best divorce letter ever
-
Dis volentibus
55555555555555555555555555555555555555555
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born
Carl.
อ่านแล้วคิดถึงเพลงนี้
Dear John, Oh, how I hate to write
Dear John, I must let you know tonight
That my love for you has died away like grass upon the lawn
And tonight I wed another, Dear John.
Recitation:
I was overseas in battle when the postman came to me
And he handed me a letter, I was happy as I could be
For the fighting was all over and the battle had been won
Then I opened up the letter and it started, "Dear John."
Dear John, Oh, how I hate to write
Dear John, I must let you know tonight
That my love for you has died away like grass upon the lawn
And tonight I wed another, Dear John.
Recitation:
Will you please send back my picture, my husband wants it now
When I tell you who I'm wedding, you won't care, dear, anyhow
Now the ceremony has started and I'll wed your brother Don
Will you wish us happiness forever, Dear John
Dear John, Oh, how I hate to write
Dear John, I must let you know tonight
That my love for you has died away like grass upon the lawn
And tonight I wed another, Dear John.
Recitation:
I was overseas in battle when the postman came to me
And he handed me a letter, I was happy as I could be
For the fighting was all over and the battle had been won
Then I opened up the letter and it started, "Dear John."
Dear John, Oh, how I hate to write
Dear John, I must let you know tonight
That my love for you has died away like grass upon the lawn
And tonight I wed another, Dear John.
Recitation:
Will you please send back my picture, my husband wants it now
When I tell you who I'm wedding, you won't care, dear, anyhow
Now the ceremony has started and I'll wed your brother Don
Will you wish us happiness forever, Dear John